Ramblings

I have something that matters to share with the internet. When someone asks a question don't just tell them to google it. A question is a way of starting a conversation. conversations are an essential tool for human survival and happiness. if someone asks you a question they are interested in you. they have some sort of respect for you and want you to share knowledge. we could just google everything but that isn't a society i want to partake in.

I am sick of Valentine's Day. Not because of the commercialization or the fact that I'm single, but because of all the single people who complain about it. I know too many people who bitch about it for weeks on end and then have anti-Valentine's Day celebrations, wherein they pretend to not enjoy the idea of showing their loved ones what they mean to them. I celebrated anti-Valentine's Day exactly once, and that was when I was in 7th grade. Eleven years ago. I was 14 years old. Calling it Singles Awareness Day doesn't make you edgy. Nor does burning your panties or eating upside down heart cookies. Face the facts: you are, for some reason, obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship and bitter as fuck that you're not in one. You may say all the anti-V-Day stuff is a joke, but there's a kernel of truth to every joke. Maybe the reason you're single is because of your terrible attitude. Heaven forbid you let other people have fun today. Maybe one day when you find your sack and quit wearing shortpants to work, you might actually have a significant other and you will have fun celebrating V-Day. More than likely, you will not, so next year when you're feeling like a pathetic neckbearded lump of angst, try calling your mom or grandma and telling them happy Valentine's Day. I'm sure they'd love to hear from you and it'll give you something nice to do. Maybe next time Yom Kippur rolls around, I'll bitch and moan about it for weeks and call it Gentile Awareness Day. Or maybe on Bastille Day I'll have an anti-France party, even though I think France looks really lovely and I'd like to go one day. Anything to make a point to you chronic complainers.

I think it's pretty well known that I have mixed feelings on Austin. On the one hand, it's got a lot of fun things to do, but on the other, it's filled with trustafarians, hipster scum, and lots and lots of posers. This weekend, however, my opinion started to change. I've been going to the Longbranch Inn (on E. 11th and Lydia, for those who live around here) lately. It's a nice little dive close to my house and it's quickly becoming my regular neighborhood bar. There's only one row of tables parallel to one long wall, so when it's not dead inside, you usually have to sit next to other groups of people if you want to sit down. This Saturday night, a friend and I went, and sure enough, there were only two available seats--right next to a couple. We asked if we could sit down and they kindly obliged. It turns out they were on their first date and had met online. It quickly became obvious that they were not too into one another and were all too glad to have some other people to chat with to break the monotony. We had a really good time chatting with these strangers and I'm even still in touch with one of them. Later that night, the friend and I went to Creekside (on 6th and Red River), which has a great back deck. Standing around, sipping our Lone Stars and smoking our Camels, another couple approached us out of the blue and chatted us up. We didn't chat for long, but they were very friendly. I don't know if it was something in the air or if people were still riding a Thanksgiving high, but this was the first time I've seen such displays of friendliness in Austin. If things continue in this manner, I think I'll stick around a little longer.

i have a work dilemma people. i am going to apply for a position in another lab group within my company. i like my current lab, especially my boss who is cool as hell. but as a career move i want to move to this other group. i have talked to the group that i am applying to, but i have not told my current boss i will be applying. at what point do i tell my boss? do i tell her right away so she knows and can plan replacing me? do i put off telling her? if i tell her now she might make sure i get training that will help me in the new job. or it could backfire and she will be mad at me for thinking about leaving the group. it could make the next couple months really awkward. she could be understanding and encouraging or really offended and mad. i am not sure what the professional courtesy rules in the situation are, and what the general courtesy guidelines are.

I’m a longtime reader of the [Postsecret blog](http://postsecret.blogspot.com/) and I usually come across a secret or two that make me laugh, and a few more that make me sad. The one I’ve posted today made me particularly sad, my friend [Teague](https://oddpetal.net/wordpress/) and I agreed long ago that it would be a heartbreaking experience to be the person that somebody settled for. The secret made me think about all the people I know who might have settled for the first person who asked (to marry them) rather than waiting for (or seeking) someone who would have loved them more.[1] Now there is no way for me to tell if it was the bride or groom that sent in the message, but it seems to me that it was likely the bride, as they are usually the more passive in the proposal. Don’t be with somebody that you aren’t completely engrossed in, if you know there is somebody you would rather be with then go after them. Notes: 1. Shamelessly stolen from the song “Cath…” by Death Cab for Cutie, which is extremely appropriate for this post.

don’t normally post truly personal things on the internets beyond “I did this today” type stuff. I don’t really think the internet is conducive to sharing things that are truly personal, but that is based on a certain forum I pollinate at which will tear the things you hold dear to shreds should you share them. Perhaps thismatters is different. Mi vida the last few weeks have prevented me from posting much. Not because I am so busy. There are things I want to post. But they feel trivial compared to my real life so I didn’t post and I didn’t post the personal stuff because of my aforementioned attitude. I need to remedy that and get back to blooging. So I am just going to go ahead and post the personal stuff so I can move on with my ilife. First here is a list of things I hope to share with you soon. I am writing them down so I don’t renege on the topics later. The list: places I want to go, my love affair with my apartment pool, shark wrangling, skin eating fish, booze and coffee, and probably some other bs. now here is the stuff that has been going on that keeps me from posting. Warning: this will not seem that interesting or dramatic but it has been a big deal to me lately. So two months ago I got engaged. Wedding planning was going at a high pace, things seemed smooth. Then my parents came to visit about two weeks after we got engaged. It was not a good trip. Not at all. They thought they were coming to make all the arrangements for the rehearsal dinner, and that wasn’t really what we had in mind. We stalled them and prevented any real planning, they resented this and started fuming and got mad about every detail of my life that they had a problem with. They snidely commented on everything from my apartment, to my job down to my hair style. Keep in mind my parents are older, traditional and conservative. Rachel and I are a bit more bohemian and they didn’t really get that. Anyway it has dragged on over the last month or two because we were both so mad that we couldn’t talk without making shit worse. So two weeks ago I decided to buy a plane ticket and go to el paso that weekend and straighten things out. Things were straightened out to a point. There were a lot of misunderstanding and there might still be some. I had a five hour long conversation with my parents trying to address each of their concerns. To my parents credit they were much more understanding and open minded than I was expecting. Though I now know we will probably continue having some conflict sense we see things very differently. Normally it isn’t a problem as they live 700miles away. But planning a wedding we are interacting more and having to make mutual decisions. Making decisions can be hard when people want very different things, and especially hard when it is as personal as a wedding. Once the wedding stuff is decided life will be easier. But right now even with things in a relative calm compared to before my trip to el paso I still think I am bit more stressed than I like to be. So I am looking forward to being done planning, but I need to keep my energy up and not get passive due to my desire to get things done. Rachel’s parents are paying for the wedding. My parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner. My parents have made it clear they are not happy with site we chose for the wedding. But tough titties they have no rights to the wedding. However, the rehearsal dinner has become their fortress. Not that they are going to do anything horrible. They want to do something nice that we enjoy. But where rachel’s parents have a hands off attitude, my parents think the rehearsal dinner is their event for us, not our event. So while they want us to like it, we don’t have free reign. This wouldn’t be a problem if we didn’t want such different things. In order to move along we are trying to be compromising without giving up our desires but it is tough. It wouldn’t be so tough, after all it is just a dinner, except that when my parents get angry things can get out of control and I am trying not to let that happen again. The plan is to have my parents come to dallas sometime soon and have a powwow with us and rachel’s folks and hammer everything out. Arg! I just want to get married to Rachel! Why does it have to be so insane! disclaimer: please do not make any assumptions based on my rant, my parents are good folk and this is a synapses of two months (or twenty-five years) of events. Disclaimer II: I need to get back to work so I am not editing this right now, please forgive any errors and things that just make no sense.

Two weeks ago today my girlfriend became my [fiancee rachel](http://www.ta73.com)! this is the official interweb announcement. We have been dating for 5 years 3 months. i asked her at a candy store down the street from our apartment. the candy shop is called big top candy shop, it awesome and if you are in austin you are required to buy candy from them. the ring was in the case with the chocolates and i "ordered" the ring and bam! one knee will you marry me the whole shebang. last weekend we went to dallas so I could ask her parents permission to marry her. it is the gentlemanly thing to do. so she said yes, we are so lovey it disgusts the world but get used to it cause we are together for next few decades at least (would you put your brain in a robot body?)

The absurdity of facebook advertisements has reached astounding levels. I present the figure at right, which purports that I can meet “Hot Christian Singles” which is not (necessarily) a ridiculous notion, I’ve usually found Christian girls to be agreeable. What really stands out about this particular advertisement is the model they chose to represent the Christian single that I can supposedly meet, now I’m not claiming that this particular gal isn’t a Christian, she may very well be quite pure and pious. I’m not sure if it is the 6 months worth of tanning to achieve that level of bronze, the enormous (presumably fake) breasts, or her particular method of displaying said breasts, but she doesn’t strike me as the paradigm case of a Christian girl. Far be it from me to say that a Christian must look a certain way, but seriously, there is a limit to the level of vanity that should be displayed by the little Christs among us. The next question has nothing to do with the picture. If you are claiming to be a Christian male shouldn’t you be seeking to look past the physical appearance of your potential lovers in order to forge a meaningful and spiritual relationship? It seems to me that looking exclusively for the “Hot” is more than a little sacrilegious. What would Jesus do?

Dear the world: visit [www.ta73.com](http://www.ta73.com). One it is my gf's website, but more importantly it is a great site from a great person. Sometimes I feel like I am cheating on ta73.com by being on thismatters.net but that is neither here nor there. I know Paul already has a link for her site but it deserves a link on every page. Her last post is totally emo, but don't assume it is all emo. If you like music, 8-bit games, or you are a cool person then you will like her site. oh and Paul, I'll work your backend.

In my ramblings I haver regularly talked about dancing, and today [Thinkin’ Lincoln](http://www.thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=662) followed my lead. I have been of the opinion for some time that every girl (ever) loves to dance, no matter how bad they are at it. There are some who say, “Ugh, I hate dancing,” but they are simply covering up for the fact that they have never done it. Also, when a girl gets it in her head that she wants to dance, there is no avoiding it… you will be dancing by the end of the night or you will find yourself dateless. This doesn’t happen to be a problem for me because I’m always up for dancing (given the proper venue), but for some fellows I can see this as being an issue.